They're Called Gut Feelings For a Reason

The need for personal agency is real.

Spend enough time in wellness or therapy spaces and you’ll see it touted as the most important thing anyone can develop.

I don't disagree.

Agency—your ability to make intentional choices and direct your own life—IS incredibly important.

It's the foundation of a life based on original thinking and authentic expression, but that’s only half the story.

Because when folks speak on the importance of personal agency, they don't understand the reality of the unconscious mind and how difficult “sound decision-making” can be for those who have experienced trauma.

The truth is much more complex:

Most people make choices that feel like agency, but they’re really just enacting patterns of familiarity.

Have you ever chosen the same type of relationship, job, or situation and wondered why you keep ending up there? Have you ever made a decision that at the time felt incredibly "right," but looking back it was clear you were stuck in a pattern of self-sabotage?

I see this all the time—with clients, with friends, with myself.

In the moment, these choices feel like agency.

But they're often your nervous system choosing what feels familiar over what's actually aligned with your growth.

And in order to stop the pattern, you must address the gap between head and heart, unconscious patterns and conscious choice.

The Felt Sense

The felt sense is your source of self-correcting, intuitive wisdom.

It lives in your body (they're called gut feelings for a reason), constantly providing information about your inner experiences and needs.

Eugene Gendlin, the philosopher and psychologist who coined the term, describes it this way:

"An internal aura that encompasses everything you feel and know at a given time—it doesn't come to you in the form of thoughts or words, but as a bodily feeling. It is the body-sense of meaning."

Imagine this...

You're working on a creative project and need a specific word. You can feel the word inside you, but can't get it off the tip of your tongue. You write down something close, it completes the sentence just fine, but something inside you knows it's not right.

You look at the word and it just feels off.

Suddenly, you're shifting in your chair, contorting your face, biting your fingernails, shaking your leg.

That "feels off" sensation? That's your felt sense.

And all that fidgeting? That's your body expressing what it knows—the body-sense of meaning.

Now, this is a pretty low-stakes example, which makes it easy to recognize. But this same wisdom is available for the big stuff too.

Try this with something you're deciding right now:

The Body Compass Exercise

Grab two pieces of paper.

Write one option on each and place them on opposite sides of your room.

Now, start from the center and slowly walk toward the first option. As you move, notice everything:

Does your pace quicken or slow? Do your shoulders rise or drop? How's your breathing?

Stay with that choice for a moment and pay attention to what happens INSIDE you.

Now walk back to center, take a breath, and move toward the second option with the same awareness:

How does your body want to move? Does your body feel light and open, or heavy and contracted?

Here's what to pay attention to:

Signs of alignment often feel like: your breathing deepens, your pace feels natural, your chest opens, your shoulders soften, there's a sense of ease or "rightness" even if the choice feels challenging.

Red flags might show up as: your breath gets shallow, you slow down or rush, your body contracts, you feel heavy or tight, there's a sense of forcing or pushing through resistance.

And here's something important to remember:

Sometimes the "right" choice doesn't feel immediately comfortable—especially if it involves growth. But there's usually a quality of aliveness or expansion underneath any initial nervousness.

The body knows the difference between fear of growth and fear of going against yourself.

But your felt sense isn't going to shout "YES!" or "NO!" like a magic 8-Ball. Sometimes it's more like "this needs attention" or "something's missing here."

When you start distinguishing between the magnetic pull of old patterns and the felt sense of authentic alignment?

That's when you stop just having agency and start having your agency.

When you learn to distinguish between choices driven by unconscious patterns and choices guided by your felt sense, you're reclaiming your authentic self.

So I'm curious: What decision is waiting for your attention? What is your body trying to tell you that your mind hasn't quite caught up to yet?

Your felt sense is always available, you just have to remember to listen.

With love and healing,

Brian Maierhofer (Professional Human)

P.S. On July 7th, I’m opening spots on my calendar for 1-on-1 somatic work. If you're ready to dive deeper into Somatic Psychology and break free from the unconscious patterns that keep you stuck, keep an eye out for details.