how i got PTSD [Trigger Warning]

At 22 years old, I was diagnosed with complex PTSD.

One year earlier, my roommate, Alex, had overdosed and passed away.

Before I broke into his room, I remember thinking to myself:

“D@mn, Alex is sleeping in late today…”

Life’s wild. I’d only known Alex for six months, but we’d become extremely close.

I’ll spare you the details, but this story has been on my mind recently for ONE reason:

My body’s reaction to seeing Alex.

Visually, when I walked into his room, I could see him. It was clear he was right there.

But my body—my nervous system and my mammalian brain—didn’t register life.

It registered no soul.

The disorientation was remarkable, and I’ll never forget the visceral imprint it left. I’d seen those who’d passed to the other side before, but never in this context.

This experience taught me something profound about the body and trauma.

It helped me understand how our nervous systems react, often bypassing logic.

It was one of the first times I realized that healing isn’t just in the mind.

It’s in the body, too.

This realization became the cornerstone of how I would end up healing the post-traumatic stress attached to this memory.

I began exploring practices that reconnected me to my body—gentle movement and deep breathing.

Eventually, I found Somatic Psychology, the body-based approach to healing that utilizes the stages of our brain’s development to its advantage.

I discovered it was the most effective way to process the emotions buried deep in my nervous system, setting me on the path to wholeness

It wasn’t linear, but over time, I started to feel whole again.

Anyways, I hope this email finds you well.

Brian Maierhofer (Professional Human)

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