How to Stop Getting Played (by Your Nervous System)

Every person struggling with chronic stress, anxiety, or burnout has three things in common:

1. They're fighting their body instead of working with it

2. They have no idea how close they are to feeling better

3. They've never learned the three rules of their nervous system

I'll explain...

Your nervous system cycles through the same pattern, over and over again. It doesn't think or make decisions the way your conscious mind does. It operates on pure biology, following rules that are as consistent as gravity.

Which is good news.

It means once you understand the rules, you can learn to work with them.

The Three Nervous System Rules

Rule #1: Every human nervous system is capable of tapping into a state of parasympathetic dominance.

Translation: Those who continuously struggle with anxiety, stress, or burnout—know that your body is capable of finding deep relaxation.

Rule #2: Your body stores stress, trauma and unresolved emotions. When it fails to release them, it becomes dysfunctional.

Translation: Your nervous system holds onto stressful energy, and the "symptoms" you experience are byproducts of that stored energy.

Rule #3: The nervous system releases its stored energy through the same process that prevents it from becoming stored in the first place.

Translation: Your body already knows the way. The same door that let the stress and trauma in is the same door that lets it out.

These are the only rules in “the game of nervous system regulation.”

Let me show you how to start playing strategically.

How Your Nervous System Works

You know that moment when you're stressed and someone tells you to "just relax"?

It makes you want to scream, right? Because if you could just relax, you would have done it already.

There's a scientific reason why that advice feels impossible. Once you see it visually, everything clicks.

Below is a diagram that maps the exact moment your nervous system tips from "manageable stress" to "complete overwhelm."

The small black waves at the bottom represent what your nervous system looks like when it's working properly (Rule #1). Stress comes in, gets processed, and releases way before overwhelm.

The big wave at the top shows what happens when stress builds faster than your body can release it. You cross into freeze, burn out, depression, or dissociation (Rule #2).

The dotted line represents your threshold of tolerance: when all hope goes out the window and those states (freeze, etc.) creep in.

Here's what’s crucial to understand:

Your body chooses to freeze rather than stay in chronic stress and arousal. Freeze is an aspect of your nervous system's intelligence—like a circuit breaker that prevents your entire system from collapsing.

But once you're stuck above that threshold, your body forgets how to get back down to those small, manageable waves and you become trapped in a state that was only meant to be temporary.

This is why Somatic Psychology is essential.

How Somatic Work Changes Everything

Traditional approaches try to manage stress by avoiding or thinking your way out of it.

Somatic work does the opposite—we use stress strategically to retrain your nervous system and increase your capacity to hold stress.

The goal isn't to eliminate stress entirely (that's impossible). Instead, we teach your body how to complete the stress cycle properly, like those small waves in the diagram.

It works in three phases:

Phase 1: Controlled Activation: We deliberately create a small wave of stress in a safe, controlled environment.

Phase 2: Guided Discharge: Instead of letting that stress build and cross your threshold, we help your body complete the natural release process.

Phase 3: Expanded Resilience: Each time you complete this cycle, your threshold of overwhelm gets higher. You become more resilient to stress.

When we go through this process, something wild happens.

Your nervous system doesn't just release the stress we introduced. It starts releasing all that old, stagnant energy it's been storing for months or years (Rule #3).

This is how people who've been stuck in fight-or-flight for decades finally learn to access that deep relaxation their body has always been capable of.

Your Game Plan

Cheat Code #1: Know Your Small-Wave Ingredients

When was the last time you felt that small-wave life?

Think back to the last month. When did stress hit but you actually recovered quickly? Think hours instead of days.

What were the exact ingredients? A 10-minute walk outside? A phone call with your best friend? A specific playlist or hot shower?

These are your nervous system's natural discharge methods. Write down 3-5 specific ones.

Cheat Code #2: Identify Your Recipe For Overwhelm

What does your big wave look like? Your personal recipe for crossing the threshold of overwhelm.

Look at your last major overwhelm episode.

What were the 2-3 things that stacked up over days or weeks? Back-to-back commitments? Saying yes when you meant no? Poor sleep plus skipping meals plus that big deadline?

Building awareness of these patterns is like having a weather forecast for your nervous system. Write down your top 3 overwhelm ingredients so you can spot the storm brewing.

Cheat Code #3: Recognize Your Threshold Signals

That split second when you go from "I'm stressed" to "I can't think straight." What are the immediate warning signs?

Loss of appetite? Snapping at people you love? Can't find your keys even though they're right there? That weird feeling like you're watching your life from the outside?

These are late stage emergency alerts. The final signals before Armageddon hits…

Know these, and you can catch yourself right at the edge.

The magic isn't in knowing these codes exist. It's in using them to interrupt the cycles that have been running your life.

Know the three rules, apply the three cheat codes, and start playing the game instead of getting played by it.

Reply and tell me which cheat code you want to focus on first. Transformation happens at the intersection of knowledge and application—right now is the perfect time to start.

Happy to hit your inbox,

Brian Maierhofer (Professional Human)

P.S. Two weeks ago I asked what you wanted to learn more about. 46% of you said "MORE Somatic Psychology"—so here we are!

P.P.S. For those who have asked, I'm considering opening my calendar for more 1-on-1 work (honestly, I miss it). I'll share details over the next few weeks.